All over the place

So I just wanted to say that I am so excited for Christmas this year! I get excited every year, but this year ... it just feels complete. With Lily's arrival to our family, life feels full! Our family is like a series of really great novels. The stories are great, but the sequels just really complete the original. And I know Christmas isn't about presents, but looking under the tree and imagining the look on Marlee's face just makes me smile. I just wanted to thank all our family for making this year great! We didn't go as overboard as we have in the past, but we got Marlee some things that I really think she will love. I hope anyway... Lily got some pretty great things too, but she is still too young to really enjoy them just yet. She will though here very soon. She is growing so fast. Marlee seems to be growing even faster! Everyday she wakes up she is even more of a little lady. She will be taller than me before she starts kindergarten! We will wait and see!

Marlee is also on vacation starting today for the next three weeks! She has already asked to go to school three times this weekend. She is not going to be a very happy girl for this vacation. I keep telling her that her teachers are at home and school is closed. She just replies, "no, not yet". I will do my very best to not be a "boring" mommy while she is home. She likes to be doing something most of the day, whereas, I am running on fumes...so I am trying to relax in between cleaning and doing house stuff. Last night I was literally up every hour so I am such a sleepy mama this morning. Lily wakes up and needs something...then Marlee wakes up and needs something. They were a tag team all night. Thank goodness Zach took tonight off so I can try and get a little sleep. I hope!!

Something else I wanted to write about was that I don't know if it is because it is the Christmas season and it is about family or what exactly, but I have really been missing my Oma and Opa the last few days. You know sometimes you watch a sweet commercial or just think of something that makes you just cry. You don't mean to, but the tears just come anyway no matter how much you fight them. Well, I dropped Marlee off at school the other day and something I saw or thought about led my thoughts to my Opa...I just started crying for some reason. Then, I just thought about how much I missed both of them. Memories were flooding in and emotions. I remembered Christmas with them. My Opa would always ask me why we celebrate Christmas...and it wasn't the present part. They would have me watch the story of Bernadette. I actually enjoyed it very much and caught it on television not too long ago and watched. I tried to explain it to Zach and made him watch part of it with me :)
I remember my Oma painstakingly making cookies for hours...days even. Her little Christmas tree in the corner of the living room by their front windows. Us all going to midnight mass and her always looking beautiful to me, but especially at midnight for church she was just beautiful! Midnight mass was always my favorite mass. Maybe it was because it was a full house and people were singing, or that we were all up at midnight. I just miss them so much and haven't really cried about it in a long time, but this time of year is particularly difficult. Also, bringing Lily in this world and not being able to share that with them. Marlee was the same. I remember being this way when Marlee was born too. I know they are watching over them and are their angels, but... Not a day goes by without thinking about them, but sometimes I have to think harder about what they looked like or what they sounded like. I mean, I always will remember them, but small details fade in and out at times. I wish that Marlee and Lily would have gotten to know them and felt the love they showed me. I love my parents and all, but Oma and Opa were always there and always made me feel special and even when they would discipline me it didn't matter. I hope I am making them proud. Love you guys!